I don't want to dream anymore.

It's 4:41 am. I went to bed at 2. I just woke up out of breath and sobbing. I needed to go outside on the balcony for air because I couldn't breathe, I freaked rooms and the cow out, and probably my entire apartment complex because I couldn't stop crying. Not like, normal, I'm sad crying. But like somebody died unexpectedly crying. I don't want to dream anymore. The dreams have been building and building lately. They aren't happening every night, but when they do they seem so real and I wake up in the mood of the dream. I knew this one was going to come. On valentines day when I got off in the morning, I slept all day at my friends house because I knew that one of these was coming, and I thought it might come that day. It didn't.
Tonight I was at a fourth of July picnic. Everyone I knew was there. Everyone, even derek and his gf. He wouldn't talk to me, even though I kept trying. My parents were there, people from work were there. It was in someones house but their house was on a marina. And there were boats going by and fireworks. But the backyard was set up like my grandma's house, with two levels. Inside the house there were lots of kids. Wine glasses kept getting broken and there was broken glass everywhere. Part of the house was set up as a hospital because there were two little girls there with heart defects. They were twins, and their parents were michael douglas and catherine zeta jones. Suddenly someone told me that I was going to be the nurse now and that I was going to take care of one of the little girls. When I walked in the room, she was so sweet. She had glasses. But she was really mottled, and she was sweaty, and she was having shortness of breath. She was on a monitor, but she kept wanting to go out and play. Her mom thought I should take her to the ED, but she wanted to let her ride her bike. So I drove in my car, and she rode her bike, but traffic was going too fast so I was ahead of her. I was scared so I pulled over into a no parking zone to go meet her. As I parked, there were three dead racoons. Really scary racoons, with white eyes, they were just lying there, like roadkill but almost propped into positions. I got out of the car fast and went to look for the little girl as she rode up to me on her bike. As she got off she collapsed amd started to have a seizure. She turned blue. I tried to stimulate her, but knew that the ED was right across the street. I picked her up in my arms and she held on so tight to me. She woke up but her eyes were rolling in the back of her head, I ran and the nurses in the ED took her. A few minutes later she was awake and her normal sweet self, sitting up in bed. At this point, I turned to the window and my car was gone, it had been towed. I told someone sitting next to me and she laughed it off. I kept repeating to her that it wasn't funny. I started to cry and put my head in my hands. And then I woke up crying with my head in my hands.
I don't want to go back to bed because I'm scared that I'm going to dream again. I needed to write this all out because I thought if I got it out, I could sleep. I'm so tired. I just don't want to dream anymore.