So secrets. Everybody has secrets. I have a lot of secrets, and I know a lot of secrets. People tell me things. Maybe because i'm so good at keeping them in my head. Some of my secrets are good secrets. Some are bad, and some probably aren't secrets at all. But I like to think that they are. I'm not going to tell you them, but I think that there is something to be said for being able to keep them, and also for having them. I don't know why I was thinking about secrets tonight. But a person who used to be special in my life used to always say to me....secrets, secrets don't make friends. And then someone even more special to me would add, they make best friends. We all need people in our lives who we can share things with. Things that we can't tell the whole world through a facebook status update or a blog. We pick and choose who we tell what based on trust, and also relevance. You have to pick and choose who to tell what. I think because I know this, I'm good at having them.
Speaking of facebook, I went and saw that movie tonight, Social Network. Everyone couldn't stop talking about how good it was. I kept wanting to check my facebook page throughout the whole movie, and I didn't really think it was that good. First of all, the main character irritated me. Right from the beginning. I kept thinking about how annoying it would be to have to have a conversation with him. It made me realize how I picked the right career. I could never be involved with business. It's too shady, too many people are looking out for themselves, there are too many SECRETS (do you like the tie in?). I'm just not competitive like that. The reason I love my job is not because of the actual work, although I do like helping people and also ever since being in the PICU I do realize that I enjoy the challenge and the mental stimulation of figuring out problems and learning new things on a daily basis. It's because I get to be social at work. Maybe this is looked down upon, but I don't think that I could do my job if I weren't surrounded by great people. People who can laugh despite a horrible circumstance. People who have the same desire as I do to learn and teach. Every night I find myself learning something new. It could be a simple skill, or a complex concept that I kind of learned about in nursing school, but now that I'm actually seeing it clinically, am able to grasp. Co-workers take time to explain things to me and because of this, I find myself explaining things to less experienced co-workers. It inspires me to help someone understand something that I once didn't understand.
I remember when I was going through the worst part of my break up, work was a relief. I could just go to work, do my job, and get wrapped up in someone else's problems. It reminded me that there are bigger things in the world other than what I was going through. Now that time has passed, and I am a happier person, sometimes I don't want to go to work. Because I'm tired, or because I'd rather be doing something else.... like lying in my bed. But as soon as I get there, and have a few laughs with my friends and absorb myself in the tasks that I need to accomplish for the night, 12 hours goes by pretty quickly. I find myself enjoying myself, and for that I'm thankful.
Recently I've moved and I felt like with that change in physical space, a part of me has changed as well. I can leave behind the crazy person on Camino de la Reina and start living my life again. As silly as that sounds, I felt like I wasn't really living my life for the past couple years. I was running away from it. I was trying to get through it because one day it would get better. And it has. Reading through my past blogs is funny to me because I was a different person back then. I mean, not completely, but I was so sad. I mean....I couldn't even stay home on my nights off! Now I look forward to getting into comfy clothes and watching tv with my pals. I used to be afraid of leaving myself alone with me. I love it again.
So I feel like I'm at a crossroads, and to be perfectly honest, it's a good place to be. I'm giving myself time to relax, to sleep, to regenerate and to figure out where I'm going next.
Living with ash and andy and becky has been amazing so far. Even though I know its temporary, I don't feel anxious about whats next or the fact that I will be moving again. We call the house "The Schmit household, helping girls become women". While it's ashley and andy's home, it's becky and I's halfway house. Poor Andy has to deal with three women, talking through tv shows, all on their periods at the same time. But secretly he loves it. We call ourselves the sister wives.... it sounds creepy, but its not. It's like a commune, or family. We take turns cooking and cleaning and we're all there for each other emotionally. And Andy fixes stuff for us. It's really nice, i'm thankful for my pals. OH yeah... I also went to the dentist finally. That was one of my goals for this year, and I made it happen. I'm proud of myself because I was physically scared. NOW....here is the best recipe for enchiladas ever. And it's super easy! Shout out to Sam the cooking guy!
Ingredients
- 3 cups shredded cooked chicken - one of those deli roasted chickens is perfect for this
- 1 cup Salsa Verde (green salsa)
- 1-4 ounce can chopped green chilies
- 1-2 tablespoons chopped chipotles in sauce (more if you like it hotter)
- 8 - 8 inch flour tortillas
- 1 cup chicken broth
- 2 cups whipping cream
- 1.5 cups Monterey Jack cheese, shredded
Steps
- Mix first 4 ingredients in bowl.
- Pour 1/2 the whipping cream in the bottom of a 9x13-baking dish.
- Pour chicken broth in bowl and one by one submerge each flour tortilla.
- Place approximately 1/8 chicken mixture in each wet tortilla and roll up.
- Place all 8 side by side in dish, sprinkle with cheese, and pour remaining whipping cream over top.
- Bake at 350 for 30 minutes.
love it :)
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